Well, its been a while since I have posted a blog, and to all of you anxious readers out there, who sit all day behind your computer screens, hitting refresh on my page every half second in hope to view yet another amazing article, my apologies for ruining your day. But now that the fiery burning desire of expressing my pointless thoughts arise, like that unreachable itch tugging at the center of your back, I felt as though today would be the perfect day to share my view on "Road Rage." For many mindless American's, attempting to drive on those congested roads and freeways is like a legless man in a potato sack race, and especially those in California. Old dusty streets are filled with various drivers, with the vast majority being the ones who could not even operate a tricycle properly. Driving today has become more undesirable than the Mc Donald's tasteless Fillet-O-Fish sandwich, always topped with filthy fingers containing swine flu and the common cold.
As we observe carefully, we see Minivan Soccer Mom's, driving in tribute to the Indy 500, just to get their spoiled little spawns to soccer practice, revising the old proverb to "Hell has no fury like obeying the traffic laws in front of a Minivan mom". Seriously, what is the rush? Must we drive 70mph in a 5mph zone? Is your heart forcefully pounding through your chest to get home and rape your Yorkie? Experts in the field of behavior sciences refer to this behavior of people, who break the laws of the road, having anger influence their better judgment, as "road rage". However, we here at The Uncompromisable Truth refer to it as "Jerk-Face". People who are supposedly filled with "road rage" are those who get pissed off at people who are obeying the laws. My definition of "road rage" is spoiled individuals who get pissed off to sit on their asses and push a pedal, blaming innocent people for their own mistakes.
The Uncompromisable Truth behind "road rage" is that irrational people who are so in love with themselves, enjoying the chance at making trouble with others. Those who tail other cars, driving 100mph in the mountains, honking their horns and flickering their lights, so they can get home to beat their wives and abuse their children. Those who sit at stop lights, yelling useless profanities from their open windows, directing their middle finger at a 75 year old lady, who was distracted for one second when the light turned green. Those of you who participate in these various actions on a daily basis, we award you a honorary stamp as a "jerk face" and a "winner" in our book. Therapist and Doctor's who sit on thrones and think they are gods express their trendy opinions that these individuals are hurting inside having a dry mouth for change and thirst for therapy. The truth is they need a good ass kicking with the plastic vacuum pipe and a big slipper, and for somebody to actually tell them "No!" And that, my friends, is The Uncompromisable Truth!
Well, its been a while since I have posted a blog, and to all of you anxious readers out there, who sit all day behind your computer screens, hitting refresh on my page every half second in hope to view yet another amazing article, my apologies for ruining your day. But now that the fiery burning desire of expressing my pointless thoughts arise, like that unreachable itch tugging at the center of your back, I felt as though today would be the perfect day to share my view on "Road Rage." For many mindless American's, attempting to drive on those congested roads and freeways is like a legless man in a potato sack race, and especially those in California. Old dusty streets are filled with various drivers, with the vast majority being the ones who could not even operate a tricycle properly. Driving today has become more undesirable than the Mc Donald's tasteless Fillet-O-Fish sandwich, always topped with filthy fingers containing swine flu and the common cold. 
As we observe carefully, we see Minivan Soccer Mom's, driving in tribute to the Indy 500, just to get their spoiled little spawns to soccer practice, revising the old proverb to "Hell has no fury like obeying the traffic laws in front of a Minivan mom". Seriously, what is the rush? Must we drive 70mph in a 5mph zone? Is your heart forcefully pounding through your chest to get home and rape your Yorkie? Experts in the field of behavior sciences refer to this behavior of people, who break the laws of the road, having anger influence their better judgment, as "road rage". However, we here at The Uncompromisable Truth refer to it as "Jerk-Face". People who are supposedly filled with "road rage" are those who get pissed off at people who are obeying the laws. My definition of "road rage" is spoiled individuals who get pissed off to sit on their asses and push a pedal, blaming innocent people for their own mistakes. 
The Uncompromisable Truth behind "road rage" is that irrational people who are so in love with themselves, enjoying the chance at making trouble with others. Those who tail other cars, driving 100mph in the mountains, honking their horns and flickering their lights, so they can get home to beat their wives and abuse their children. Those who sit at stop lights, yelling useless profanities from their open windows, directing their middle finger at a 75 year old lady, who was distracted for one second when the light turned green. Those of you who participate in these various actions on a daily basis, we award you a honorary stamp as a "jerk face" and a "winner" in our book. Therapist and Doctor's who sit on thrones and think they are gods express their trendy opinions that these individuals are hurting inside having a dry mouth for change and thirst for therapy. The truth is they need a good ass kicking with the plastic vacuum pipe and a big slipper, and for somebody to actually tell them "No!" And that, my friends, is The Uncompromisable Truth!
You think you've got it bad? Try driving in Hong Kong. The Tolo Highway runs from the border (almost) to Kowloon, and you actually get people racing. On one occasion, I was sitting on the limit (100km/h) in the third lane of four when in the space of 3-4 seconds two cars tore past on the outside and two on the inside (estimated speed 150km/h). This is a regular occurrence, treating the rest of us like moving obstacles in a dodgem race.
ReplyDeletei have been reading over your blog. very interesting! i really like what youve had to say im even following you! and from what ive read i think you may find mine a little ineteresting too. ive noticed we blog about similar things mine is: http://www.kendraswriting.blogspot.com
ReplyDeletehope ya like it!
Driving in NJ is just awful. There were times when other drivers wouldn't let me in to the point of nearly running me off the road. It's just scary. I've missed my exits because of other drivers not letting me in.
ReplyDeleteTales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing
This subject gets me hot! (and I don't mean in a good way...)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, an ass kicking can be a very good thing. Especially if it is meted out on the side of the road, to a jerk who deserves it. Sometimes though people go too far. Once (when I was much younger) I was stopped in rush hour traffic on a very busy street. In my passenger side mirror I spotted a guy passing the entire line of stopped traffic by using the shoulder and bike lane. I don't know what got into me. I know I didn't think about it, but when he got up to the car behind me, I did a hard right towards the curb, and ran him off the road. About 10 minutes later I was pulled over by a Sheriff's car. Somebody saw it, and called it in. When I explained it to him, he only gave me a ticket for an unsafe lane change. I was wound a bit too tight in those days...